Out of Balance

Written in 2018

Sometimes life pulls us out of balance.

Not because something is wrong,

but because two powerful moments arrive at the very same time.

That happened to me today.

After more than thirteen years together,

I said goodbye to my beloved dog, Chica.

A deep sadness stayed with me throughout the day.

At the very same time,

something else was being born.

After five years of work,

the therapeutic cards I had created were finally on their way to the printer.

Their own little delivery room.

One ending.

One beginning.

Death.

Birth.

Sadness.

Joy.

Which feeling deserves more space?

How do we decide how long to grieve,

or how long to celebrate?

Twenty years from now,

which moment will I remember first?

Or will they forever exist together?

I think they will.

Something about experiencing both on the same day connected them forever in my mind.

For years, I believed emotions competed with one another.

That joy pushed sadness away.

Or sadness overshadowed joy.

But that wasn't what happened.

I smiled...

while feeling the quiet ache of loss.

A tear rolled down my face...

while another part of me felt deeply grateful.

The emotions didn't fight each other.

They completed each other.

Perhaps that is what emotional maturity really looks like.

Not choosing one feeling over another.

But allowing both to exist,

Without asking either one to leave.

Maybe...

That is life.